A Voice Silenced Forever: End of an Era
Thoughts on Michael Jackson, Fame, Loss and Finding Truth

By Deborah L. Kunesh
Copyright 2009 by Deborah L. Kunesh

A voice silenced forever. Gyrating dance moves and light-as-air footwork from feet that will no longer dance on this planet. A gifted artist whose music, smooth dance moves and talent changed the world, and yet whose personal life seemed tortured by constant, un-relenting media attention and public scrutiny.

Like so many others, I was mesmerized by Michael Jackson when he first hit it really big. The music was brilliant and made you want to get up and dance. And the dancing! Wow! The dancer in me longed to move like Michael Jackson. He moved in a way that was almost effortless and which seemed to convey a joy that came from deep within his soul. His dance style was unmistakably him. His singing was much the same. Pure joy brought to the surface, and emotion that came alive in animated facial expressions and flailing body parts that exhibited both control and freedom simultaneously. It was art and drama in timeless motion.

It was his eccentricity and talent that, in addition to growing up in a musical family with a Dad who is a musician, made me want to pursue some type of career in entertainment. Though as a child I had always wanted to sing, dance and act, as I grew, I realized that the gift I was given was in being able to write. Michael Jackson and the influence that music had on me, made me want to find out what makes performers tick. Something about his presence and uniqueness made me first start to explore this as a possible career path. I found the eccentric tendencies intriguing. I saw him not as crazy, but as endearing. A child in a man’s body trying to make sense of a world that didn’t make sense. A gifted person who having never really experienced a childhood, according to his own words, tried to capture that sense of childhood as an adult in some ways, despite the criticism. He was the first artist that sparked this desire within me. I wanted to know what inspired them, what motivated them. I wanted to truly know and bring out the person, the human being, not the celebrity. It became the driving force of my decision to pursue entertainment writing, though I didn’t realize it at the time.

I also felt that in some ways, that I shared a kinship with them. Somewhere, deep within my soul, is the heart of a performer. Someone who understands that need and that drive to share with others your deepest feelings and what’s in your soul in a creative way. I understand that need and I know how it feels to risk everything when you put yourself, your heart and your soul out there for others to see, when some of your deepest thoughts and feelings are exposed and transparent. It’s not necessarily a decision, though you can certainly decide not to, but rather, it’s more like a feeling of necessity of having to do so. Though I am grateful for the gift, it is one of the scariest, toughest, and yet, most necessary, things that I do.

I have always felt that my ability to relate to others in this field comes from that shared drive and my suspicions were confirmed each time those I interviewed expressed having enjoyed the interview, which, for most artists, interviews are something they don’t look forward to. Or the time that I was interviewing a prominent artist and my question comprised of a detailed description of my take on what his song meant and he was shocked and surprised that I had explained back to him the exact meaning he had tried to express through those lyrics.

For those who don’t have this drive to emotionally bare your soul, consider yourselves in some ways, fortunate. Because it’s not an easy road. By being so open with your heart and soul, you can easily become a target for ridicule and can end up feeling exposed. Each time I put my heart and soul out there, it’s uncomfortable and yet, it’s necessary for me. It’s something I’ve been given to do. So, maybe more so than others at times, I understand a little bit more deeply what it feels like to be judged for what lies on your heart and soul and your sharing of that, and my experience is just barely a feather’s stroke of what people in positions of celebrity, experience on a daily basis.

When I first heard of Michael Jackson’s passing, like most others who heard this grim news, I was in a state of shock. Saddened and in disbelief. I felt in many ways, as if a very important part of my growing up years and things that had led me to the point I’m at now, had died along with him. It was the sudden end of an era.

I imagine it’s similar to what people in my parents’ generation felt when Elvis passed away, though I do still remember where I was (sitting in my parents’ car driving to some destination), upon hearing the news of Elvis’ death. I remember my Mom and Dad’s shocked reaction and thoughts of disbelief. After hearing the news of MJ’s passing, for the first time I realized why some people still long and hope for Elvis’ death to be a mistake, and for him to be alive and well somewhere. There is such a huge gap left when someone so influential and who we’ve heard about and whose talent we’ve been exposed to for a good portion of our lives, is suddenly gone. For me, some of these songs remind me of very poignant times in my life. It’s hard to see that go in some ways, to feel the person who made that music is gone, though the music and artistry lives on.

Whatever you personally thought of Michael Jackson, his talent broke down barriers and brought in a whole new era of musical and creative genius. He was a true performer and dedicated to his craft. His title as “The King of Pop,” was rightfully earned. He broke records and achieved heights that other performers had yet to achieve.

The sad part for me, when I look at what little I know of Michael Jackson’s life, is the controversy, the way that the media never seemed to leave him alone and let him just “be”. The fact that so many can take what is said in the media, despite that much of what is reported at times turns out to be sensationalized, and turn it into fact in their own minds, which then turns into judgement and cruelty and a desire to share those unkind thoughts and words with others. As someone who on a very basic level understands their struggle to a point, it hurts my heart. We also have to remember that he has a family and friends who love and care about him.

I’ve heard some incredibly cruel remarks as of late. Though much of the same was directed at him while he was still living, it seems especially cruel now that he has passed.

My challenge to those remarks is this.

The media is many times all about sensationalism, and fame destroys. It’s not a natural state.

Entertainers are human beings, just like the rest of us. They choose a career, or more often, a career chooses them, that puts them, and their lives, out in the spotlight. There is little privacy. Life is lived in a fish bowl, every single thing you do is scrutinized, and everybody wants a piece of you. All because you are simply sharing who you are and were created to be.

I imagine if most of us had to live like that, we wouldn’t survive it for long and just maybe, we’d have a much better and deeper understanding and appreciation of what performers go through and why so many of them, due to this pressure and the demands of the public and the media, end up struggling with addictions and worse. No man was ever designed to be put in that high of a position. That is only reserved for God. And yet, we ourselves, the public, put them there, and then, in a dance of deception, we turn around and tear them down.

I have often questioned why as a public we feel entitled to someone simply because they share their creativity and talent with us. Why the big box called a stage, when inhabited by someone, suddenly becomes a call for us to feel as if we have rights to that person who sets upon it. Why the paparazzi feels entitled to follow and badger individuals who are simply sharing who they are and their God-given abilities, with the world. If you’re an accountant, for instance, should humanity feel entitled to you and your life and everything about you, just because of your job? When you think about it, it’s really kind of twisted.

Because we hear about them on the news, hear them on the radio, see them on television and in movies, we begin to feel that we “know” them. We listen to sensationalized media stories of “news” that proves to have no truth to it. We begin to believe what we hear and cast our judgements without ever really, truly knowing the person and without ever really knowing what happened or what didn’t. We just make up our minds that the drivel we hear so often, is “fact.” The only thing we are going by is what we have “heard”. That’s a very important thing to keep in mind and a very dangerous line of thinking. Put yourself in those same shoes. All it takes is one person making accusations and spreading rumors and lives can be destroyed. This happens on a lesser scale all of the time with school bullies.

Here’s the truth. We don’t honestly “know” them. We know “of” them. We know their music, we know what we see on television and on the news, but we don’t really know them or their lives or the real truth of what that person, and their private life, is truly like. And here’s the kicker. We should never pretend to. We wouldn’t want that done to us, and we should give that same level of consideration back to those who take the time to share their creative gifts with us and entertain us.

Many of the celebrities or artists that I’ve been able to talk with and meet, are very different from the person you see on stage, or on television. They may seem very high energy and outgoing when performing, but most are very quiet and reserved in person.

With Michael Jackson in particular, because he was especially eccentric, he became a target for constant media badgering and trash reporting. I think it’s sad that his drive to perform and share his God-given talent with the world, led to so many challenges for him and that now, in his death, so many cruel, unkind remarks are being made. A life was lost, just like any other. I think that needs to be remembered.

The most often brought up controversy is the alleged child molestation charges, of which he was cleared. Yet, to this day, people who have never met him, were not there, do not know what happened and know nothing other than what the media reported about him (many times which were false accusations), judge and condemn, without truly knowing. There was a stamp of guilty put on his head without any evidence ever proving that he did such a thing. If he was truly guilty, then that was truly awful. If he wasn’t, and I personally feel that certain things don’t add up, then it was equally tragic for the pain it caused in his life. Imagine yourself in that same situation.

Many have brought up the fact that he settled out of court in one of the cases (which, by the way, happens for many reasons, and not necessarily due to guilt. In the other trial a jury found him not guilty). Money can be a big motivator for some. Though, just like the rest of you, I don’t truly know what happened, I do think that if someone truly hurt your child in that way, that any honest, moral parent could not be paid off. They would want that person who hurt their child behind bars, kept away from other children, and justice served. No money could buy justice. That’s one of the things that makes me question the accusations.

I also look at the people that surrounded him. The people he befriended and who befriended him. Noteable, high caliber people whose careers would not bode well if they hung out with a pedophile. Some of these people have very good, wholesome reputations. These people, and there were many, insisted that he did not do it and that they had never witnessed this behavior in him and have nothing but kind things to say about him. Most of his friends say that there was nothing that he would not do for them and vice versa. These were people who spent a lot of time with him and who knew him. This kind of loyalty is usually not garnered with someone who motives are less than pure.

He was always referred to as very professional, very dedicated, a perfectionist and very kind. Many of them trusted their own children with him and some of their children went on tours with him. These are the people who truly knew him, who were close to him, and, in my opinion, were the only people who had a right to judge and have an opinion. None of us really has a right to name call or condemn because we don’t have all of the facts. Those closest to him knew him. We did not. As far as any accusations, God knows the truth and we need to leave things that God needs to deal with, up to God. I think that after all that he gave to the world, that we need to let him rest in peace and celebrate the gifts he shared with all of us. God knows the truth. P.s. none of us is god. ;-)

Last night I found myself sitting up late watching Michael Jackson videos on VH1. I have not seen his videos in a long time and the intensity hit me pretty hard. It had been a while since I saw that incredible dancing, that voice and how dedicated to his craft he was. I found myself a bit emotional as I watched. I felt a bit of a void for a world that has lost so much talent, way too young. A sense of sadness over what might end up having been a very senseless loss that could have been prevented. I felt a void and a sense of nostalgia as the music and his dance moves awoke something in me that I tend to shelve in my busy life. That desire to get up and dance and be free. To express myself creatively through movement. It awoke the dancer in me I also felt a sense of sadness over someone whose music and influence was a big part of my influential teen and early adult years, who now is so suddenly gone. It felt as if that part of my growing up years was somehow even more significant. I wanted to grab onto that past and hold it dear before it completely vanished.

I also saw all of the good he tried to do and the awareness he brought to issues that all of us need to pay attention to. Racism, media bullying, those in need who we should be helping, etc.

I also watched carefully and tried to see a little more into the person, aside from the celebrity. I saw someone whose eyes seemed to shine with kindness and whose creative expression ranged from drama to making bold statements with his music and lyrics, and sharing messages that seemed to come from deep within. At times, I saw pain beneath an ever-changing exterior, which saddens me. Someone searching for a peace that his fame had destroyed. In his earlier days, you could sense a feeling of joy and passion with his craft. In the latter days, a seemingly growing sense of discontent with fame, with the media and the target he had become.

We need to really “listen” to that and to learn to really “see”. To see past all of the garbage we hear and search deeper for truth. We need to stop being drawn in to the sensationalism that surrounds celebrities and remember that they are all just human beings too inhabiting this planet alongside us. We need to stop being so fascinated with everything they do, every little move they make. We, in many ways, are the problem! We can’t seem to stop ourselves from being fascinated with those who take the stage. That only fuels the media’s manhunt for dirt.

Most performers and people with a more creative bent, risk more emotionally on a regular basis than many people ever do or would ever be comfortable doing. I know because I do that every time I write something that is from my heart and soul, like this piece. I think that’s one of the reasons that it can be so misunderstood. Most people haven’t taken that kind of risk before and hide behind their cruel remarks and judgements because they don’t know what it feels like to risk emotionally on that level.

I've found myself dancing around the house to Michael Jackson songs the last couple of days, ever since I've watched those videos again. It's brought back a little bit of childlike freedom and joy to my life. I had forgotten how much joy and happiness was in that music!

Michael Jackson had his problems I’m sure, just like all of us do, but his struggles, unlike ours, were magnified, scrutinized and embellished. My artist’s heart feels a sense of sadness for him. Sadness over how the gift he was given to share with the world ultimately took its toll, due in part to our unquenchable desire to touch fame, which ended up fueling way more attention and ridicule on him (and other celebrities) than any one person should ever have to handle.

I've found myself dancing around the house to Michael Jackson songs since watching those videos again. It's brought back a little bit of childlike freedom and joy to my life. I had forgotten how much joy and happiness was in that music!

In Michael Jackson’s words, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look in the mirror and make a change. Decide today to stop judging others due to only what you hear and think you know, and instead, look in the mirror and make the changes in yourself. Become the change you want to see. If you begrudge the fact that entertainers earn good money, it’s time to take a look at yourself as well. They risk a lot and though it appears glamorous, much of it isn’t. If you’re unhappy about something in your own life, work on making a change. It’s easy to ridicule, find fault and put down. Making cruel remarks and jokes is more a reflection on your own character than on theirs. Working on yourself and bringing out your deepest God-given gifts and sharing them with the world is much more difficult and challenging and scary, but if you do that, you are giving your best and that’s when you make a difference in this world.

Though I mourn his passing, I also celebrate the gift of creativity and artistic expression in the performing arts. I celebrate that those who risk and put themselves out there, like Michael did, in doing so, give me the courage to be back in touch with my most creative and expressive self and to continue to take that risk myself. I believe that we all have ways that we contribute and create in this life, and for each of us, that is unique. We each need to find our own way. Find your way and celebrate it.

I’d like to today, remember Michael Jackson for the artist that he was. For his amazing contributions to the music and entertainment world. For the incredible talents and gifts he shared and in doing so, how it touched many people’s lives. For his work as a humanitarian and for his unwavering ability to take a stand for what he believed and to share his heart and soul through his music, despite the condemnation and pain that sharing ultimately caused. Rest in peace Michael, and thank you for the inspiration and for showing me, and reminding me, of the dance that still goes on inside and how to bring that dancer’s spirit out, have fun, and celebrate life.